5 Mysteries of the Male Brain

Male and female brains are different. Sometimes very different. 

It all comes back to what happens in the womb. Before we’re even born, our brains begin to develop. 

During this time, the male brain is powerfully influenced by the presence of testosterone.

Some men end up with a lot of very masculine tendencies, while others have fewer.

Nonetheless, most guys think in fairly predictable ways. 

If you’ve spent much time with a man who has a very masculine brain, you’ve likely noticed at least a couple of quirks. 

But before I get to those, a word of caution.

While you might think of these as annoyances, it’s important to remember that his brain isn’t built like yours. When a guy exhibits one of these traits, he’s not being stubborn, rude or unsympathetic. He’s just using his brain the way it was made!

That said, here are five mysteries of the male brain that may leave you scratching your head:

1. He doesn’t notice things. You hang a holiday wreath on the front door. He walks in through that door. You ask him what he thinks of the new wreath and he has to walk back outside to look at it. He didn’t even see it on the way in!


2. He craves control. Even when you’re just watching TV together, it’s critical that he has possession of the remote. It’s like the experience is diminished if you’re holding it. What’s more, he may end up just flipping through channels in an unending quest to make sure he’s not missing something better.


3. He’s too solution-oriented. You come home after a hard day at work. He listens to you vent for a bit. Sensing that you’re anxious, but failing to understand that you really just want to share your feelings, he immediately starts trying to “solve the problem.” You want support, but he’s all about finding a solution.


4. He misses what you just said. You’re the only two people in the room. You say something. He misses it completely, even though he may have nodded or said, “Sure.” His attention was simply somewhere else.


5. He has a one-track mind. He can be so focused on the computer, the TV or a book that he gets irritated when you try to talk to him. You end up having to interrupt him several times just to be heard. And when you finally get his attention, he’s visibly annoyed.

Some of those scenarios are kind of funny. Some of them are down-right irritating. But I’m not sharing this list with you to pick on men. 

Instead, I’m trying to call attention to the fact that men and women are fundamentally different in some ways. And some of those differences are what attract us to one another!

The yin and yang of human gender is what draws us together. When we learn to work with those differences instead of bucking against them, a beautiful balance is created.

Don’t beat your guy over the head for thinking like a man. Yes, he may hog the remote. He may miss something you literally just said. He may even fail to notice the new painting you hung in his apartment as an early Christmas present. But there’s one huge benefit.

If you understand how a man thinks, you can pull on his heartstrings like no other woman in his life.

As a dating and relationship coach, it’s my privilege to share with you one secret of the male mind that can addict him to you forever.

It’s a quirk of the male mind causes him to be obsessed with a particular need. I’m talking about a relationship need that makes him feel like a man. It’s something most men don’t even realize they want. 

That’s okay, because in the short video presentation below, I can show you what he wants and how you can use his desire to draw him closer.

Irresistible Confidence

Irresistible Confidence

By: James Bauer

Confidence feels good.

Men will tell you it’s one of the most attractive qualities a woman can possess.

Confidence is King. This is a bold statement, yet it begs the question: Confident about what? 

Herein lies the problem. People give useless advice like, “Just be more confident.” What is that even supposed to mean? And how do you do it?

When you understand that confidence is a relative feeling, not a condition, you begin to learn that you can influence your own feelings of confidence. 

Learning how to manage your feelings (and the thoughts that drive them) is key.

We are seeking a very specific end result -the feeling of confidence.However, this feeling comes about as the result of the way you perceive yourself, your world, and your goals.

Even though the goal is to increase your feeling of confidence, you cannot consciously control your feelings directly.

Fortunately, you can control your thoughts directly, which means you can use your thoughts to change the way you feel.

True confidence means you like who you are, regardless of whether others are impressed with who you’ve chosen to be.

More than anything else in this world, you have power and influence over yourself.How does this power and influence manifest in your thought life? Does your internal dialogue reflect a truly loving embrace of yourself?

If you’re like many other women, the honest answer to this question will be “no.”Your internal critic most likely dominates many of the thoughts you hold about yourself.

But, it doesn’t have to be that way for you.When you think of how you treat yourself, and how you talk to yourself, ask yourself if you would ever treat your best friend that way. If the answer if no, why would you treat yourself that way?

You are your own best friend, or at least you ought to be. Although you have the potential to be your own worst enemy, you must learn to choose not to be. To be successful in building your confidence, I want you to embrace the idea that it is okay to love yourself fiercely!

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you quit work and spend the day eating chocolate.True love embraces the whole person, both in their present form, and their future self.

Really loving yourself could mean taking a break, or it could mean taking a vacation.Really loving yourself could alsomean making yourself go to the gym to work out even if you don’t feel like it. It’s about doing what will ultimately build your quality of life.

I challenge you to take a look within and answer this question: Are you loving yourself enough?

My experience has been that people who love themselves feel more confident. When you love yourself, you’re not afraid to see your own faults.Your imperfections don’t cause you to cringe and shut down your own thought processes to avoid the emotional pain of admitting you’re not a perfect person.

When you love yourself, you can see yourself as a whole person, flaws and all, and still fully accept yourself without any need to wear blinders.People who love themselves are generally better at loving others.

Here’s another condition for building confidence: Focus on enjoyment rather than “success.”

Your confidence will grow when you focus more on relationship experiences than on relationship outcomes.

On a first date, your primary concern becomes having fun and making it enjoyable for the other person too.This primary focus replaces the desire to impress the other person.

Wanting to impress the other person has more to do with the future of the relationship than it does the unfolding experience of the date itself.

The more you focus on future outcomes, the less confident you will feel.This is true in any area of life.

The more you focus on things in the future, the less control you have.The less control you have, the more insecure you feel.

To increase feelings of confidence, focus on what’s here and now. Focus on the experience of your interaction with people rather than making the right impression.

Stop and really think about this for a moment.What if you really and truly embrace this idea the next time you interact with a potential partner?Think about how free you would feel if you really let go of any control of future events.

Think about how easy it would be to be spontaneous and let your fun, relaxed side emerge if you really focused on appreciating the relationship interaction for what it is at the present moment.

You can do this!

When you finally get the courage to talk to a man you're interested in, he will feel like the luckiest man in the room. In fact, I'm confident he'll find you irresistible!

If you found this short article helpful, you’re going to love my video presentation on the thing all men secretly want but could never tell you.

Learn the #1 Hidden Reason Men Fall In Love (He'll Thank You For This) 

Is He The One

There are two common reasons a woman asks this question.

I can tell you a lot about your relationship depending on which reason is behind your question.

It’s normal to get a pit-of-the-stomach nervous feeling when you think about committing your life to someone.

Big decisions create nervous feelings even when you’re about to make the right choice.

On the other hand, emotions should not be ignored. They are sometimes trying to tell us something.

Emotions often alert us about things we know on an intuitive level but which we do not want to recognize as the truth.

How do you know the difference? How do you know the difference between normal nervousness from a big decision versus gut level instincts telling you to turn a different direction?

The best way to distinguish between these feelings is by asking yourself the following question. "Do I feel lonely when I spend time alone with him?" 

If you do, the connection at the deepest level either never took root, or died off as you learned more about each other over time.

If you feel yourself longing to get out and be around other people when spending time with him, he's not the one.

Now let’s turn to the other reason this question comes up.

As a dating and relationship coach, I frequently receive questions from women who notice their boyfriend or husband has become less romantic over time.

A change in emotional intensity is normal as a relationship matures. Your relationship will naturally shift through several stages.

As the relationship matures, the "romantic stage" comes to an end. Some women are sad or fearful during this shift because they wonder if his interest is dissipating. You may wonder if he intends to invest in you and treat you well in a long-term relationship.

Take comfort. The level of energy required for the romantic phase of a relationship cannot and should not realistically continue indefinitely.

For the two of you to become true life partners, the passion should always remain, but the expression of that love and passion will change as the relationship deepens.

Flowers, chocolates, and showing up unexpectedly as you leave work are fun, but this level of romance often precedes a phase of the relationship that involves a sense of "mutual ownership."

In the, “mutual ownership” phase you move away from trying to impress each other. You move toward a feeling that the relationship is something you both own and feel secure in. He becomes comfortable in your presence and feels he can really be himself.

This could mean he flips on the TV and puts his feet up in your apartment rather than spending every moment of his visit following you around like a puppy.

If he is still treating you with deep respect and showing a continued interest in sharing his life with you, there's no reason to bolt. You’ve probably found a good match.

If you’ve decided to invest your lives in each other, there’s something you should know. Love is never enough for a man.

There’s a missing ingredient if you plan to keep his love and commitment forever.

This is such an important topic, I’ve put together a short video presentation to show you what I mean. Click the link below to watch it now.

Learn the #1 Hidden Reason Men Fall In Love (He'll Thank You For This)

What to do if your man seems unfocused or doesn't listen to you

What to do if your man seems unfocused or doesn't listen to you

Men get preoccupied. Don't confuse that with a loss of passion for the relationship he shares with you. 

Boys will be boys. And boys get WORRIED! Never mistake their worrying with your relationship losing steam! The connection the two of you share is something entirely different.

Does this sound familiar? 

You meet a handsome, interesting fellow. The chemistry quickly builds up to romantic attraction and a desire that is clearly mutual. 

That special connection is palpable then and there. Like you've both been speaking the same language forever. And then, he begins to sing another tune, and emotionally withdraws. 

You feel he's a million miles away. He worries all by his lonesome, seemingly unwilling to share his thoughts or feelings whatsoever, completely unlike the way he acted before.
Idle conversation fails to awake any form of attentive response. Sometimes, you even think to yourself that you feel completely alone while in his presence.

What is the source of this? Must all men retreat after first showing they do possess the necessary skills to connect with women in a truthful way? What dynamic is behind this?

The answer is in their wiring, as in, their motivational drive. He is genetically predisposed to center his attention on the latest or hardest "task" at hand.

However, this clearly would not mean he has stopped loving you! It would only imply some other "mission" is momentarily blinding him to the rest of the earth. And now is when things get complicated!

As he seemingly pulls away from you, you feel in your gut something's amiss. Logically, your preexisting insecurities rear their ugly heads, as do any and all negative emotions you've buried or held on to. The result is you being snappy with him, perhaps even passive-aggressive.

Your general mood at this point would be best summarized by the subtext, "Why are you doing this to me?"

On the other front, his mood is centered around the notion of: "Reduce distractions and focus on taking care of the problem that has come up." Here is the operative issue present: the "problem that has come up" is almost always completely unrelated to you. 

A biological imperative and ecological pressures continuously reinforced the predisposition of men for mission-mindedness. In fact, the status of a man's mission determines a lot about his emotional state. If the mission is sailing smoothly, he is filled with an energetic joy. At such a time, he is far likelier to be emotionally engaged and present, listening to the most minute details of your life.

However, the flip side is that unexpected circumstances or unforeseen hardships that make him feel his current "mission""'s progress is in jeopardy.

While women are likely to consider a relationship as a mission, men far less often conceptualize it as such. For them, relationships are fun things you do after you finish working on your mission.

Thus, predictably, when dark clouds gather above his place of work, his business, or whatever other goals he has decided to pursue, he will become completely distracted. Sometimes you might feel he's spending time with you only because he HAS to.

See, being a top priority in his life doesn't quite feel like it when he's worried with one particularly hard or cumbersome mission. Women are often very frustrated and hurt over time by circumstances like these, after deciding to invest their lives in men.

So, how do you deal with this?

There's always burning bras, hating men and ignoring them forever. Or seeing them as overgrown children, mocking their clearly inferior relationship skills. But, far more productively, you could employ this newfound knowledge to adapt in a way that really lets you get what you've wanted.

How to make it in the long run? It's a well-kept secret by women, but here it is!

Long story short: When he begins to become distant, don't show anger, frustration, or passive aggressive attempts to make him "feel your pain". 

That would simply reinforce his idea that the relationship must be ignored in order to more successfully carry out the difficult mission.

Instead, get him talking about the emotional impact of the difficulties he is facing. 

Men don't do this naturally, not on their own. He will likely be surprised by the amount of relief he might experience from this.

Your gentle questions and patience function as "scaffolding" to allow him to reach a level of emotional expression higher than what his own skills could accomplish.

Don't offer to fix things. That is emasculating behavior that may cause him to react as if you accused him of outright incompetence. Just ask him what he needs to focus on right now. 


If (when!) he starts talking about the circumstances instead of the feelings, just wait until he's finished, then ask why those circumstances are so important to him.

Using the word "important," conveys respect for the mission he's on, which causes him to see you as an ally rather than a tempting distraction to avoid. Help him express his feelings and sort out the conflicts he may be experiencing internally. 

Next, give him space to work this out. 

He will return to you a fuller engagement and even greater commitment and interest if you give him time and continue to be emotionally supportive.

Meanwhile, women who don't understand this secret of the male mind will punish their guys away with increasing displays of negative emotion. He will have little tolerance for such emotion when he feels his focus needs to be elsewhere. 

Don't let your relationship end like so many before it.

Instead, be the woman who bedazzles him. Go inside his head and become irreplaceable as the one person in his life who seems to support him and understand him when he needs it most.

If you would like to learn more about how men think, and what it takes to keep a guy while building the best relationship possible, click on the link below.

Learn the #1 Hidden Reason Men Fall In Love (He'll Thank You For This)